If you’re still reading this, I’d be shocked to learn it.

My dad wrote that three-quarters of the way into his college thesis. I’m paraphrasing, but it was something very similar that he told me he typed into the dissertation for his degree. Thinking back on it, I kind of like knowing he did something like that.

It’s funny that I remember him telling me about his academic-rebel ways, but I can’t recall whether the professor read the line, or acknowledged it in any way. I have my doubts.

Probably because I heard the thesis story, I’ve included similar lines in my own projects. Maybe a half-dozen times or so. Most of them were corporate surveys, a couple of which were from the company I worked for at the time.

I remember when I thought I had the market cornered on good ideas, but was never given an opportunity to share them. Bang! Survey from corporate. Here we go!

Halfway through one anonymous reply-required questionnaire from corporate, I included my full name and telephone number, along with the invitation to call any time of day or night. I’d be happy to share some thoughts, I wrote.

No one ever called.

Thinking back on it, I can understand why. Even if I had a single good idea, they’d have to deal with the smart aleck who would write such a thing in the middle of a survey, just to see if anyone was reading the responses.

Just finished one from the US Postal Service. Like they really want to know my opinion. I filled it out just the same, and in doing so noted they actually had as their last question:

Can we contact you about this survey?

There was another couple of tiny little checkboxes after the question for the answer.

[] Yes

[] No

I really wanted to check a box that wasn’t on the form:

[] I dare you to call me and ask my opinion.

They’re asking for it, in every sense of the phrase. And if you’re still reading this, I’d be shocked to learn it.