Pest.

I can’t imagine keeping one in the house, intentionally.

Rat

Please, may I have some more?

In fact, I was pretty certain I had misread the line in the newspaper. The eyes being what they are, and all.

Upon closer examination, sure enough. The word was R-A-T.

The “Ask the Vet column in the Tulsa World isn’t one I usually read, living in a pet-free home, as I do. Sometimes things will simply jump off the page, like the start of the letter to Dr. Suzanne Hurst:

My one year old female rat has a grape-sized swelling behind her front leg. I know that rats are prone to tumors and I am afraid this is what she has. Do you think I should have this removed?

The answer, of course, is a resounding YES! The rat should be removed immediately!

The question of how she determined a swelling exists behind the leg is one I’d rather not have answered. It might involve actual handling of the animal.

At the risk of sounding anti-pet, I assure you I have in the past kept wildlife and domesticated animals, from snakes to kittens (not in the same cardboard box). It strikes me though, that rats are not pets, but pests.

The doctor informed the rat’s owner that tumor-removal can be done, with surgery in the $100 range.

Cats can be had at a much less expensive rate.