If crime pays, it must be minimum wage. Police in New York City say two men robbed a Staten Island Pizzeria owner at gunpoint, forcing him to hand over the bag in his hands – which he assumed was full of dough.

The greenback paper kind.

Instead, the bag handed over was full of dough – the pale, mushy, flour type. The dough of crusts, thick and thin.

Salvatore (what-was-I-thinkin’) LaRosa has been charged with robbery after surrendering to police, who say that he and his accomplice followed the owners of Brothers Pizzeria, put on their robbery-masks, pointed guns and demanded the bag they believed held the day’s proceeds.

The bag was full of pizza dough.

LaRosa was released yesterday when the judge set bail. It was a lotta dough: a million pepperonis.