Former CNN host Rick Sanchez says he was tired when he shot his mouth off and the darn thing backfired. His daughter had a softball game that he wanted to attend, but instead he had to answer questions on that dratted national radio show. He wound up calling people names, some of those people being his bosses at CNN, who fired him.
Back in the day, such insults would be settled in a gentlemanly fashion. That is to say, a couple of dueling pistols would be brought out and the injured party would step off ten paces against the injurer (twenty if they’re both nervous marksmen) may the best shot win. It was a completely different form of being fired.
Today’s society could incorporate the same idea with a much more civil end to debates, but instead of those messy pistols, why not introduce Scottish broadswords? The two duelers could stand back to back, march off their required paces, turn and begin swinging.
Of course, at such a distance the warring parties could only flail the air until their arms grew tired, or completely fell off. Then, after a handshake (assuming both could still manage enough of a grip), they could trot back to their jobs and resume a dignified life.
It might not end verbal gaffes, but it could provide a new revenue stream. CNN covers the event, sponsored by Gillette blades and the US Marines.
Why we just don’t say “Oops…”:
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