Rare, Collectible, & Otherwise

Author: admin (Page 170 of 220)

Sure’n I recall a fain eve full o’ St. Paddy.

The night was party-perfect and I was helping host one of the bigger celebrations in Tulsa. It was Eire-crazy, enough so that we had to post an Irishman at the front door. There was a line outside.

St. Pat's hats

For the US Irish: a BIG day.

A man and his daughter worked their way to the front, and Robbie says in his fain Dublin brogue, “Aye, the fire marshall says we’re full-up.”

“I see you are,” the man answered. “I’m the fire marshall.”

I was summoned immediately, the words “fire marshall” shouted into my ear over the blaring Irish music. Yikes, I thought, in an adopted Irish brogue. I ran to the front.

Well, ‘ran’ is an overstatement. I leaned and elbowed my way through the human-carwash to where Robbie stood. The man in front of the podium introduced himself and said he was happy to see that we were limiting entry.

The way he said it made it clear that – in his scanning of our happy crowd – we were clearly over capacity. I hadn’t counted but I figured it was a cinch we were. As fire marshall, the man had the option of marching everyone outside and then counting the re-entry until our maximum seating capacity was reached.

He didn’t.

He leaned in and said to me, “My daughter has never been to a St. Patrick’s Day celebration before. I thought we’d try your corned beef.”

I was nodding my head and smiling like a fool.

“If you can find us a table,” he continued, “we can eat a quick meal and you can get back to your little party.”

I told him I’d be back to escort him there presently.

Seating had been a premium since before noon, and those standing about were eyeing potential tables like Irish-vultures. Amazingly, I found a group just starting to push back their chairs.

I grabbed a waitress and had her stake a claim while motioning for another to quickly come clear away the dishes. Another run through the robo-wash and I directed the fire marshall and guest to their sparkling spot.

St. Paddy’s Day continued uninterrupted: the Irish music blared, the bagpipers paraded, the green beer poured, and corned beef was consumed.

I covered the cost of the meal. It was the least I could do. He realized we were trying to do the best we could in a crazy situation. After a smile and wink, the fire marshall went out the door.

I hope his daughter enjoyed her first St. Paddy’s. It was quite the party for us.

A decade later, I think about donning the kilt and finding a celebration… but the bad knee won’t hold up standing too long, and the workday Friday begins at the usual hour.

The restaurant business is a tough way to make a living, about as tough as profiting from book sales.

But there are days I miss the raucous, happy bleeting of bagpipers making their way through my establishment.

One man’s pet is another man’s….

Pest.

I can’t imagine keeping one in the house, intentionally.

Rat

Please, may I have some more?

In fact, I was pretty certain I had misread the line in the newspaper. The eyes being what they are, and all.

Upon closer examination, sure enough. The word was R-A-T.

The “Ask the Vet column in the Tulsa World isn’t one I usually read, living in a pet-free home, as I do. Sometimes things will simply jump off the page, like the start of the letter to Dr. Suzanne Hurst:

My one year old female rat has a grape-sized swelling behind her front leg. I know that rats are prone to tumors and I am afraid this is what she has. Do you think I should have this removed?

The answer, of course, is a resounding YES! The rat should be removed immediately!

The question of how she determined a swelling exists behind the leg is one I’d rather not have answered. It might involve actual handling of the animal.

At the risk of sounding anti-pet, I assure you I have in the past kept wildlife and domesticated animals, from snakes to kittens (not in the same cardboard box). It strikes me though, that rats are not pets, but pests.

The doctor informed the rat’s owner that tumor-removal can be done, with surgery in the $100 range.

Cats can be had at a much less expensive rate.

Flush Times: Different in 1853.

It’s described as the best example of “humour by a Southerner” before the Civil War, but it’s probably no Larry-the-Cable-Guy. And when author Joseph Baldwin was describing “Flush Times” in 1853, it would not have brought to mind the same connotation as today.

Flush Times

Deep South Humour ca. 1853

Some of the first ‘flush’ toilets were installed that year in New York City, and for the rest of the country, the ‘flush times’ were those of abundance. In his book Flush Times of Alabama and Mississippi attorney and author Joseph Baldwin recorded sketches of colorful characters he had encountered. He did so in a humorous vein, without entering the “cable-guy” arena.

The book is old enough that it has jumped into the reprint arena, with digital copies readily available. Original copies, like this one from the pre-Civil War deep South, are somewhat scarce, but in the same price range as a reprint.

This particular copy is currently listed on eBay.

Find Tulsa area news at inlandia press.

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