Rare, Collectible, & Otherwise

Tag: words

Mine eyes have seen the gory. Eh… glory.

What the heck?

That was my first thought, before I did the double-take. I was looking at a headline. Looking at it – which is different than reading. Used to be, I could glance at headlines or chapter headers or billboards and take in the entire content at once. Well. That ability has slipped away, apparently.

Here is what I thought I read.

CHINESE SPACECRAFT FLIES BY AUSTRALIAN TOURISTS

Now, that’s a headline worthy of the National Enquirer, enough of a grabber to rationalize buying the scandal sheet.

After my second look-over, I realized my eyes had tricked me. It actually said:

Chinese Spacecraft Flies by Asteroid Toutatis.

Not nearly as interesting, but it makes more sense – at least to astronomers and gazers at the heavens. I have no idea whether flying by ol’ Toutatis is a significant accomplishment or even a good thing.

I also have no idea why my eyes have starting converting words out of my regular vocabulary into phrases more comfortable. It’s sort of like those rogue spell-checker correctors that makes changes to your text messages without you realizing it.

So far, I haven’t thrown myself under any buses as a result of these innocent mis-readings, but undoubtedly one is in store down the road.

In the meantime, my brain is hoping to hire a scout leader.

Oops. Make that – proof reader.

Decry me a River

There, there. Put your head on my shoulder and have a good decry. I decried just thinking about it. Oh wait. DEcry. That’s different.

Thank goodness for the newspapers and television folk who keep those old terms alive. The Tulsa World this morning features a headline about a decision being decried, which – according to the ol’ Merriam-Webster is to: 1) depreciate, like a coin’s value; 2) express strong disapproval. We’d have understood better if it read DECISION DISSED. Dissed, we know.

And the sports folk, gotta love ’em. They’re recapping the stats:

Sportsguy One: He’s flying in space, running downhill, north and south!

Sportsguy Two: Yeah! He has twenty yards thus far on the night.

Thus far, thus good.

Do we really use -thus- in place of -so- when we talk?

Guy Who Wants a Date: Thus… wanna get a cup of coffee?

Potential Date: Sorry. I’ve already had four cups on the night.

On the night? On the season?

How about -tonight? or THIS season?

Viewer: I’ve had about enough of this tonight.

Other Viewer: Yeah, I’ve gotta get up early on the morning. I’m takin’ it to the house.

Now, as long as the car remains on the tarmac, and attention is ramped up, all is well on the world.

Know your cliches:

Is Your Name Famous?