Rare, Collectible, & Otherwise

Tag: used (Page 35 of 47)

Back when dinosaur tech was Normal…

The suspect’s car disappeared around a corner, and the police – slowed by a backing dump truck that momentarily jutted into traffic – lost sight just long enough to end the chase.

“Over there,” said the officer riding shotgun. “We’re out of our jurisdiction. Better call it in.”

The car had barely stopped rolling when he threw open the door and trotted over to the phone booth, jerked the handset off the hook, and slammed a quarter into the slot.

Phone booth?

Dr. Who fans will recognize the “callbox” but there are plenty of folks who have grown up as dinosaur technology has gone extinct. I was reading a book by suspense novelist Sue Grafton – the first in her long-running series – and was taken aback by the prehistoric references. The novel was written in the 1980s. Some things have changed a little. Some things have changed a LOT.

I should have gone into it understanding that it was historical fiction at this point. The forensic pathologist (and I think Ms Grafton was a little ahead of her CSI-time back then) and her associates had to share a behemoth computer that squatted on a desk like an elephant. There was a point where, if I remember correctly, the police DID have to pull the patrol car over to make a phone call.

It was before cell phones were in wide enough usage for readers to be familiar with the terms.

John Nance writes fiction set in the airline industry and one of his early works has the pilot comfortably smoking in the open-door cockpit as the passengers are boarding. Airline-related stories are certainly among the most-dated. The rules of flying changed dramatically post-911.

Tom McBride and Ron Nief have put together a collection of generational ‘Normals’ and called it the Mindset Lists of American History. They don’t list every year, but skip five to seven years in documenting what was important to graduating classes in their own diploma-year. For example, the Class of 1983 were mostly born in 1965, and include comedian Chris Rock and actor Robert Downey Jr. For this class, Malcom X, Alan Freed, and Nat King Cole were already historical figures.

There was no armed forces draft, the ecology movement had been around forever. Radio ads for cigarettes were long gone. Separate-but-equal facilities for different races were a thing of the past. Those of the class of 1983 never did and never will see the Beatles in a live performance. They never saw a slide rule in a classroom, and did not have to wait until age 21 to vote.

Plenty of things that I considered ‘normal’ are completely unheard of by younger groups. Rotary-dial telephones. CB radios. 8-Track tapes.

It seemed like it was only yesterday that the corner grocery offered S&H Green Stamps with every purchase, to be pasted in a book and saved until redeemed for some frivolous purchase at the ‘Stamp Store.’ Now, it seems that even US postage stamps are threatened.

The authors make some bold predictions for future classes as well, including an outbreak of ‘carpel thumb syndrome’ brought on by excessive texting.

We’ll have to see how that turns out. Meanwhile, I’ll keep tapping away on the massive laptop that my son-in-law makes fun of, the one with the Cinemascope-sized screen and fonts the size of billboard lettering. You know – something big enough for me to see.

Here now, the weather from BEYOND…

Clichés. Don’t you love them? Maybe yes, maybe no – but they are painfully difficult to avoid and just plain painful when they get mixed.

Case in point?

Live storm coverage from Dick Faurot. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not picking on Mr Faurot, as I appreciate his style and experience. Those guys doing the weather on television get a lot of grief, and it isn’t my intention to pile on here.

The radar was indicating tornadoes Saturday night and I was watching an interesting Sherlock Holmes show that fell victim to the storm coverage. (Sometimes I think we all are victims of the advanced technology that allows the TV weather folks to ramble on about “what’s going on.” Mr. Faurot’s words, not mine.)

Oh, wow. We’re going back to programming now. The show, that gives clues leading up to a conclusion, will have presented the evidence during our storm-break. We’ll see how that turns out when we are returned to regular programming.

Back to those mixed clichés. The phrase “In the Field” has been around for awhile. We have a reporter “in the field” and will have a report from him/her shortly. Maybe this one has gone by the wayside a bit, although I remember it well. Just as I am dismissing it here – Mr. Faurot has just used that phrase to describe one of his weather reporters. In the field. Oh, yeah. That guy is most certainly out “in the field.” Not in a car, truck, or van. He’s in the field. Yeah. Sure.

“On the Ground” is a new cliché that reporters these days try to work in at any opportunity. I’m not exactly certain why clichés are better than simple words. Maybe there is a cachet that is attached to phrases that are thrown around by the network big-boys/girls. Hearing them in a news report may cause other reporters to “jump on the bandwagon” (an old-school cliché) and work them into their stories.

Oh. Severe weather coverage is over. Back to network TV programming. Ooops. I’ve missed the conclusion of the program I was watching, due to the storm coverage. No more Sherlock Holmes. He was quick to present his own suppositions, and I suppose I can make up my own ending, based on the clues presented before the storm interruption.

Back to the case in point: here is the mixed cliché result from Mr. Faurot, part of his description of the weather activity in the Muskogee area. A tornado was indicated by radar, but there was no visual confirmation from spotters, which he wanted to point out.

Dick Faurot: We don’t have confirmation from anyone IN THE GROUND.”

Not “On the ground.” Not “In the field.” He landed on a mix of the two to tell us that nobody confirmed – from their graves, presumably – that a tornado had passed over. That is to say: No one IN THE GROUND confirmed the passage of a twister in the Muskogee area.

Spotters, they are called. Those folks who call in to assist the TV station in their coverage of serious weather events. Wouldn’t those reports be so much better if all those who are currently six-feet-under could add to the reporting?

Mr. Faurot, during a severe weather outbreak: We go now to Mount Carmel Cemetery and the Earthly remains of Miss Joyce Wachthewether, who – during her regular life – loved to watch the weather. Miss Joyce? What are you seeing from your vantage point IN THE GROUND?

Ms. Wachthewether: Well, to be honest, it’s mostly dark here – but I’m guessing that’s due to the bad weather. I’m hearing some whisking winds and it may be a good time to seek shelter underground.

Mr. Faurot: Thank you Ms. Wachthewether. We go now to John Adriver, who is on the Muskogee Turnpike, on the fringe of the storm.

The programming that had been ended tonight on KOTV for storm coverage has not been interrupted for the past fifteen minutes, which tells me that that previous break-in… the one that caused me to miss the end of the show I was watching – was mostly frivolous. Aaaaahh. I take that back. Not frivolous. But certainly, unnecessary.

Better to be safe than sorry – from a meteorologist’s point of view.

But many of us weren’t in the Muskogee area. Maybe most of us. It’s too bad that those TV weather reports, in this age of technology, cannot be targeted to the specific region in potential danger.

It’s also too bad that we can’t get on the scene reports from those correspondents IN THE GROUND. When I’m six-feet-under, I plan on making regular reports on the weather, the expressway traffic, and national politics. Check in with KOTV for reports from those of us – In the ground.

Physical fitness vs. physical fatness…

Maybe you never heard of Joe Weider. It is pronounced like Joe WEE-der. To me, it seems like I’ve known him all my life.

Big Joe started out as Little Joe, one of those 98-pound weaklings – OH, wait a second… there is probably no one reading this that remembers those old comic book ads that promised a body-builder’s-body to anyone who sent in the money for the booklet.

Those ads showed a scrawny guy lounging on the beach with his beautiful girlfriend, perfectly happy until the big beach bully strolls up and kicks sand in the poor guy’s face. It was the basis for a series of ads that became a national joke, of sorts. The 98-pound weakling. It was like saying Loser! Or Whatever! Or LOL ROFL OMG! Everybody knew what it meant.

Little Joe became Bigger Joe. If he was scrawny to start with, he worked out to make up for it. Then, during the Great Depression, he started what became an empire of muscle magazines, equipment designed for bodybuilding and fitness, and diet supplements. He was one of the backers of bodybuilding contests that featured superstars like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In truth, Weider discovered the bodybuilding formula in a magazine. An immediate devotee, he continued his fitness formula for life.

He died yesterday, at the age of 93. He wasn’t infirm or out of shape, but his heart gave out.

Even in his latter years, ages 70s and 80s, he was chiseled and fit. After all the years, he still had a following of readers, people who took up Muscles and Fitness, Flex, Fitness, and Shape, a magazine for women. All together, it amounted to some 25 million readers. In those pages were people like Schwarzenegger, Cher, and Sylvester Stallone.

For my part, I remember thinking about getting in shape. I laid down on the couch until that thought went away. Joe Wieder was a product in my mother’s health food stores and not so much a destination for my lifestyle intentions.

Here’s the weird part: I remember the canisters of the Joe Weider products more than the man himself. I guess that’s proof that his legacy will live on. RIP Mr. W. When I was stocking the shelves for one of the country’s health food pioneers, you were just a name on a product.

Age 93.

In anybody’s book, the man achieved a ripe old age. Probably moving around in his latter years faster than I am now, and I’m many, many years his junior.

For many pioneers of the heath food and body building industry, Joe Weider was the Jackie Robinson, the Charles Lindbergh, the Lewis and Clark, and the Edmund Hillary. (Google them, if you don’t know these pioneers in their own fields…)

RIP Mr Weider. You were ahead of your time, and lived long enough to see the results of your efforts.

I’m thinking about getting in shape and it is in no way an intention of disrespect, if I lay down for a minute or two to think about it first.

« Older posts Newer posts »