Rare, Collectible, & Otherwise

Tag: paperback (Page 26 of 40)

Music. Soothing the savage beast and all that.

Music.

It’s always amazing to me how our brains link things together. Since I have only the one brain, I can’t say whether my experiences are unique or universal. Things like tasting a particular food and immediately conjuring a memory.

Things like – hearing crooner Dean Martin’s voice soaring from the shop’s speakers and immediately thinking of my Dad, the biggest Dean Martin fan I have ever known. I’m guessing that – because he had it on the television and I was intrigued enough to watch with him, I remember segments like Crazy Gugenheim and Foster Brooks, the (now politically-and-socially-incorrect) lovable drunk who could not get out a complete sentence without a hiccup.

Now, I just have to hear Dean Martin singing and I can remember my Dad in his big green easy chair, watching the TV program.

Foster Brooks, the lovable drunk, lived to the age of 89. Singer and actor Dean Martin was 78 when the curtain dropped down. My father had just pushed 50.

So, I hear his music and think of him. Because we never had that time together as adults. Never spoke together as men. Always – dad and kid son.

I grew up, but he never grew old.

And that darned brain. Connects us like a time machine to other places and times with – whatever – as that fragile thread hanging tough against the winds of time.

Just now, I passed through the shop office, where the television was in action for no one (got to justify my cable bill, you know…) and KOTV was running their (probably obligatory) program about Oklahoma. Lawton, was said and I turned around and saw my childhood neighbor Tony, an award-winning photographer, now working in front of the camera as well. They were visiting Wayne’s Drive Inn, in Lawton.

Bam!

Immediately after seeing an image of the place, I was mentally hearing Roxanne, by The Police. You know it, probably. Roxanne. Roxanne. You don’t have to turn on your red light.

You don’t have to wear that dress tonight.

It was the first hit for Gordon Sumner, the Englishman in New York who called himself Sting.

When I heard the song on the car radio, I was waiting for a to-go order for Alicia, me, and soon-to-be born Dustin at that Lawton OK drive in. We lived off Cache Road. Just visited Wayne’s the one time, but it had nothing to do with the food. I recall a great burger, but our family’s time in Lawton – at that point – had just about played itself out.

Crazy brain stuff. See a Lawton, Oklahoma burger joint and immediately flash to a memory of Sting and Roxanne and my wife and baby boy. And just moments after enjoying a dose of Dean and the vivid recollection of my long-dead father. In truth, these three generations have music as a common thread.

Maybe there is some DNA thing about things like that. Father, son, grandson – have all performed before audiences. My great-grandfather Caleb had a musical program in San Francisco in the early days of radio. Hit a couple of notes of just about any song and I can quickly dish up a memory of a place, time, or experience.

Too bad the genetics didn’t come down from a silversmith, athlete, politician, or conman: some DNA that would have made for an easier living. Family. Gotta love ‘em anyway.

We’re like family here! Come visit!

McHuston

Booksellers & Irish Bistro
Rose District
122 South Main Street, Broken Arrow, OK!

It’s tough being Vintage.

“Upgrade,” they urge. “Upgrade!”

“Up your nose,” I reply, “with a rubber hose.”

Well, I don’t really say that. But sometimes the sentiment crosses my mind. Bigger. Better. Faster. Smaller. Quiet. Louder. It’s all the latest. Upgrade! The one you have is old.

Old = no good, in their book.

I’ve just never felt that way. If you could see my collection of junk, you’d probably note my appreciation for the status quo.

For example: I drive a red Firebird that I have owned for more than a dozen years. I still enjoy tooling around in it, although I wish the air conditioner would heal itself. Beside me is an acoustic guitar I bought in Kentucky just after my high school graduation. Obviously, it’s almost old enough to draw its musical Social Security. (Only a slight stretch there…) Some things were better-made back in the day. They lasted longer.

When my Sony digital camera (the one probably found in the Smithsonian as the very first digital device, it’s so old…) – when it up and died, I bought another on eBay. An identical camera, with the ancient technology and dinosaur-size. It worked great and did everything I asked of it. I never wished it would do something that it couldn’t. Didn’t need to store 6,000 pictures or have it slip comfortably into my shirt pocket. I liked it. I replaced it, with an exact replica.

The death of my cell phone wasn’t the fault of age or technology. I sent it to a watery grave, despite hearing an ominous Thunk! when I loaded the washing machine (the same washer I bought twenty years ago, still working fine, thank-you-very-much). Should have investigated the Thunk! further, but I didn’t. The phone-in-laundry-waterproof test failed. Dead as a hammer after the spin dry cycle.

The cell is nice to have, even if I don’t use it all that much. So I visited the Sprint store, where my powers of invisibility kicked in at the worst possible moment. Pinched myself, held my breath, prayed to the god-of-digits hoping the young woman would be finally be able to see me standing there. Alas. To no avail.

I don’t frequent phone stores much and maybe the clerks all sense that, like dogs smell fear on me when I draw near them. When my pleading look did not even rate eye contact, I gave up and left for that electronic retail experience, diving headlong into the internet waters in hopes of finding a replacement phone.

The word “Upgrade” came up right away. I’ve been with the company for more than a decade (much more) and my contract expired years ago. My Sprint website password is as old as my car.

Andre, the Sprint guy: You should be seeing a link at the left for your options.

Me, after clicking: Those phones look like they came over on the Mayflower.

Andre, the Sprint guy: You could Upgrade instead of replace.

Some of this exercise is just lost on me. I asked Andre to subtract twelve from his age and think about where he was at that time. He admitted he wasn’t driving yet. That’s how long I’ve been a paying customer of his company. But for me to get the latest, greatest cellphone – completely free of charge – I have to become a new customer with another company. My drowned phone is no longer offered. I guess it was a lemon that got squeezed out of the lineup. I had just figured out how to Bluetooth it, too.

Sprint won’t extend me an offer for a Snazz-phone. Can’t get the next great thing. No smart phone for this dummy.

Oh, sure. I can get a sort of retro-looking flip-flop if I sign a two-year deal. The nice phones? Nah. Those are reserved for New Customers. It’s like Andre was pawning me off on Verizon or AT&T. Maybe a WalMart no-contract deal. Hey! I just want a telephone to go along with my monthly bill.

After nineteen-and-a-half minutes (I asked Andre how long we had been talking, and I guess he was timing it. Accurately.) – after that time, I felt guilty thinking he probably should have closed the sale in that length of time. I told him I’d look over the website more closely and call back when I was better informed.

Of course, I went straight to eBay.

Samsung Exclaim, with the Qwerty (fun typing there) keyboard, up for auction in several colors and varying-degrees of abuse. I place a bid. Checked it this afternoon. Won it. At this point, no six-hundred dollar smart phone for me. No upgrade. Just a twenty-dollar replacement version of the drowning victim.

Of course, to get it activated, I’ll have to visit the Sprint store.

Where I am invisible.

I’ll see you right away, if you – Come visit!

McHuston

Booksellers & Irish Bistro
Rose District
122 South Main Street, Broken Arrow OK!

Ah. The commercials explain it all.

‘Splain it, I should say. But they also make me realize things I didn’t know I needed to know.

I don’t have one. Do you? I mean – truly – I didn’t know I was supposed to have one. But here I stand (actually, I’m sitting…) having just been ordered by the person reading the television commercial: Ask your rheumatologist.

My rheumatologist?

Not even sure who those people are, or what a rheumatologist does. But, Phil Mickelson has one. He’s the star of the commercial, if commercials have stars. He spends his on-camera time talking about how dealing with pain is part of his golf-game. Apparently, Mr Mickelson suffers from what we used to call arthritis. My grandparents probably just called it aches or pains. At some point in my lifetime, it went from simple arthritis to Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Oh, the folks suffering from it never said that. There was no “Gracious, my rheumatoid arthritis is kicking up a touch. Perhaps I’ll have an aspirin.” Nah. It was more like, “Agh. Darned arthritis,” if anything would be said at all. I believe folks of my parent’s generation would have just endured it with minimal complaint.

Times were different then.

Now, in our age of gotta-have-air-conditioning-or-I-might-die, and our increasingly abbreviated speech, that old ailment is just too long to be spoken. Rheumatoid arthritis is now: RA. Our mouths just don’t work like those of previous generations. We can’t say things like “medication.” Our dogs take pet “meds.” I suppose we humans do too. If I’d had my “meds” I probably would not be writing this blog. Blog. Used to be a “web log,” but that took too long to say, so it was shortened to “blog.” That’s okay, I guess.

‘Kay with you? (Saved a full syllable there. Okay?)

You know when to be taking your meds, by taking your temp. That’s the thing that used to be “temperature” but it was just too difficult to voice. Temp. Meds. RA.

As a kid, I suffered the effects of asthma. Of course, if it recurs at this point of my life, I’ll need meds for A. Two syllables are just one too many.

Another question-posing commercial asks about your financial “number.” People are seen walking around with a large red number in their hands. There are no three or four digit numbers in any of the commercials. I’m not sure there are even any six digit figures. What is the number? It’s the amount of money we should have salted away for retirement. Not a hundred-thousand dollars. Not eight-hundred-thousand dollars.

The commercials all show actors carrying around one-million-dollar-plus retirement numbers. That’s the amount we’re supposed to have stuffed inside the mattress over time to take care of bills in our golden years.

Regrettably, my golden years will be closer to fool’s-golden. Somewhere along the line I failed to stash away a big enough percentage to have that Sweet-Million set back for the post-work good life.

Of course, based on the today’s pared-down style, I’m just keeping with the times. When the RA creeps up on me, I’ll just take a hard-earned D and buy an A. (D: dollar. A: Aspirin, for those of you my age. The rest of you already knew that, I know.) I don’t have a million set back, but I have the abbreviated version. The Really-Abbreviated-Version.

And, of course, when I feel the pain of RA, I’ll consult him or her. You know…

My rheumatologist.

Come visit!

McHuston

Booksellers & Irish Bistro
Rose District
122 South Main Street, Broken Arrow OK!

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