Don’t get the wrong idea… there are plenty of ultra-literate, engagingly-conversational customers popping in the shop. Yakker that I am, and a true lover of books, I’m always happy to talk about authors and their works.
But…there are some people who come in and don’t quite know what to think. As someone who grew up around books, this group was a surprise to me, and apparently, there are others in book shops who have been engaged in conversations similar to some I’ve had. In fact, a woman named Jen Campbell has just published a collection of off-the-wall type remarks and questions posed to her during her years as a bookseller.
Her dust jacket material has some doozies:
“Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?” asked one customer, while another wondered “Did Charles Dickens ever write anything fun?” Someone in her store approached her and said, “I’ve forgotten my glasses, can you read me the first chapter?”
I’ve heard variations of those, but – I’ll admit – I’ve never faced this one:
“Excuse me . . . is this book edible?”
That one had me wondering if the book was leather-bound and perhaps heading for a soup pot. It’s one of Campbell’s collection called “Weird Things Customers Say in Book Stores,” just released from Overlook publishers. At 144 pages, it’s apparent that Campbell has been collecting conversations for a time.
When I opened the shop, it was an eye-opener to realize that there are lots of people who not only don’t enjoy books, but are seemingly unsettled to be around them. A gentleman once opened the door and when he stepped over the threshold, he halted his entry so fast that whiplash might have been an issue.
“Ohhhh, books…” he mumbled, and backed himself out the door as though the shelves had been filled with writhing rattlesnakes.
“How does this work?” one woman asked me after walking in and looking from floor to ceiling. “These are books, aren’t they? Do you rent ‘em out or what?” (The name on the front door is posted as “McHuston Booksellers,” but then not everyone reads the signs…)
My favorite and most repeated anecdote came from an older man who walked in and threw his hands on his hips as he looked around, clearly finding himself amidst unfamiliar surroundings.
“Books, huh?” he mused. “You know I used to have a friend who knew someone who liked to read.”
