Rare, Collectible, & Otherwise

Tag: McHuston (Page 105 of 111)

The Bistro and Murphy’s Law

My father-in-law had sayings for most every event or happenstance. Lay there and die, he’d say, after dropping something on the floor. To my knowledge, he never dropped anything living.

It never rains but it pours, he professed. That was a slight variation on “It’s either feast or famine,” another of his favorites.

Maybe the reason he said those last two so often was because – well, they’re true for one thing. And those things occur often enough that we are constantly reminded of the truism. And Ed saw to it that we were reminded. Murphy’s Law, he’d point out.

In restaurant parlance – I had it handed to me on Wednesday. That’s a cleaned up version of the actual food service saying. At lunchtime midweek the tables filled up and – as those of you who know me realize – I am at once the waiter, the cook, the busboy, and the dishwasher. Tea-refiller, too. Bookselling checkout clerk, as well.

Could have used a second pair of hands on Wednesday. Or maybe a clone. Two clones would have been better, although the second clone would have tired of the dishwashing duties I would have assigned him.

It was fun. Adrenaline is a wonderful thing, in its proper time and place. I hope my guests realized my hopes included great customer service for all, and toward that end I was moving about as fast as a man of my age and occupation will normally manage.

Wednesday amounted to a schooling of sorts, pointing out that some system had to be in place, whether circumstances demanded it daily or not. In every restaurant in which I’ve had the pleasure of participation, there was some sort of system – good or otherwise. Usually, even a bad system could be tweaked into something more efficient.

The Bistro part of the bookstore had no system previous to Thursday. There was a generalized plan supplemented by some ideas, a few of which turned out to be good ideas. Others – nyaaah. Out with those. The system that went in to effect on Thursday will be tweaked, I’m certain, but there was a much more streamlined delivery of plates of food at lunchtime and a loss less fumbling around.

Nothing like a good downpour to make one look for the umbrella. And that was Wednesday.

Today, a mere two days later, the pace was a complete reversal. Today was closer to what I had anticipated in setting up the food service: a chance to serve lunch to booklovers and strangers-soon-to-be-acquaintances. Not that I don’t want a full house of hungry guests. I’m ready now (he says with hesitant confidence…) and happy to wait on one and all. Enough full houses and I can hire a helper. Work smart, not hard, they say. Of course that means hire someone to do the actual labor. That day will come.

Friday, as Ed would have suggested, was the thinner part of feast or famine, since it never rains but it pours. Hey! The umbrella is ready and I’m anticipating another shower of lunchtime guests and the opportunity to serve up some fresh and tasty fare.

A Book from a Blog: Customer quotes.

Don’t get the wrong idea… there are plenty of ultra-literate, engagingly-conversational customers popping in the shop. Yakker that I am, and a true lover of books, I’m always happy to talk about authors and their works.

But…there are some people who come in and don’t quite know what to think. As someone who grew up around books, this group was a surprise to me, and apparently, there are others in book shops who have been engaged in conversations similar to some I’ve had. In fact, a woman named Jen Campbell has just published a collection of off-the-wall type remarks and questions posed to her during her years as a bookseller.

Her dust jacket material has some doozies:

“Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?” asked one customer, while another wondered “Did Charles Dickens ever write anything fun?” Someone in her store approached her and said, “I’ve forgotten my glasses, can you read me the first chapter?”

I’ve heard variations of those, but – I’ll admit – I’ve never faced this one:

“Excuse me . . . is this book edible?”

That one had me wondering if the book was leather-bound and perhaps heading for a soup pot. It’s one of Campbell’s collection called “Weird Things Customers Say in Book Stores,” just released from Overlook publishers. At 144 pages, it’s apparent that Campbell has been collecting conversations for a time.

When I opened the shop, it was an eye-opener to realize that there are lots of people who not only don’t enjoy books, but are seemingly unsettled to be around them. A gentleman once opened the door and when he stepped over the threshold, he halted his entry so fast that whiplash might have been an issue.

“Ohhhh, books…” he mumbled, and backed himself out the door as though the shelves had been filled with writhing rattlesnakes.

“How does this work?” one woman asked me after walking in and looking from floor to ceiling. “These are books, aren’t they? Do you rent ‘em out or what?” (The name on the front door is posted as “McHuston Booksellers,” but then not everyone reads the signs…)

My favorite and most repeated anecdote came from an older man who walked in and threw his hands on his hips as he looked around, clearly finding himself amidst unfamiliar surroundings.

“Books, huh?” he mused. “You know I used to have a friend who knew someone who liked to read.”

Cheesy changes.

You know what they say about change… Keep it! (I’m kidding. I don’t think anyone ever says “Keep the change” except in the movies.) The old saying is something like – there is nothing constant, but change. It’s a froo-froo way of pointing out that we can’t really rely on things being the same as they were last week.

It’s the same with the lunchtime menu.

The items have been changed out a couple of times already, and I’ve mentioned to folks that the cardstock menu is just temporary since I don’t want to pay to etch it in stone (or lamination) until I’m relatively certain that they are the right things at the right price.

A couple of items have been bumped. Not that there was anything wrong with the food, but since I’m still the head chef, line cook, waiter, busboy, and dishwasher – it is important that anything being offered is easy to plate up and serve. (A party of six had me worried, but the majority ordered Irish stew, of which I am a master ladler. (Spellchecker didn’t flag that as a made up word, so perhaps there is a user of ladles called such…)

The grilled chicken is gone. There won’t be a lot of lamenting among you, I know, because it was among the least ordered items on the menu. In its place is a grilled three-cheese: it is nothing fancy, but plenty tasty on the grilled Irish loaf and on the inexpensive end of the price line. The corned beef and Swiss sandwich no longer features slaw atop the sliced meat. I was trying to achieve a Reuben-like sandwich without grilling sauerkraut (which produces a distinct aroma that books love to absorb). I thought the slaw might substitute, but I didn’t care for it after all. The sandwich works as a kraut-less Reuben and is still delicious.

I’ve also fine-tuned some obvious (or should have been obvious) errors, like leaving off the price for a cup ($3.95) or bowl ($5.95) of soup. Oops.

The hours for the food service are still limited. I want to run with it, but I’m still at the crawl/walk stage. The 11:30am to 1:30pm window covers most folk’s lunch hour and gives me plenty of time to get my dishwashing apron a workout afterward.

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