A kid’ll eat the middle of an Oreo first… Growing up in that ad’s generation (along with “I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner” – try to explain THAT one!) may explain why I am watching half a television.

The middle.

Somewhere in the midst of the whole switch to digital and high-def movement I kept watching my trusty Sony. In its day (the day of 90 pound televisions) it was an example of top-of-the-line visual stimulation: big picture, stereo sound, bright colors, freeze frame, picture in picture, popcorn popper.

Now it shows the middle of shows. I was watching a game and a graphic popped up at the left edge, presumably to tell me what I was watching: OX RTS. Being a part-time detective, I deduced that it meant to say Fox Sports. I also tapped into the clues to figure out that the graphic was a comparison of the two teams in different areas, but I could only see the team listed on the right edge of the graphic.

Probably had some great content on the right edge of the hi-def production too. Except I couldn’t see any of it. Honestly, I’m happy for everyone who has hi-def TV’s and get to see the extra twelve inches of wide-angle action. I just don’t understand why the content can’t be located where the rest of us can view it, too.

Or maybe I’m the last human to be watching in reg-def, or low-def, or deaf-def – whatever it is called.

And the commercials! Advertisers paying money to put their message on TV with half the address or phone number lopped off at the edge. Tech-changes. It reminds me of a deejay morning when someone called and asked if I knew the music was only coming out of one speaker. My voice was coming out of both, he said. The music? Just the right speaker.

Turns out, the engineer had tinkered with the technology overnight, and what I was hearing in the control room wasn’t what was going out to the radios. Oopsy. Which reminds me of the power outage (another engineer tinkering), and the fellow who called to ask why I didn’t announce we were off the air, so folks wouldn’t think their radios were broken.

Or my coworker (during another power outage that interrupted a staff viewing of a movie) who quipped, “this will be cool! I’ve never watched TV by candlelight before!”

Maybe I’ll hold a candle up to the edge of the screen, and I can read the rest of the hi-def!

My dilemma, sort of:

Is Your Name Famous?