Rare, Collectible, & Otherwise

Category: Uncategorized (Page 29 of 45)

Thieves: Hand over the Dough.

If crime pays, it must be minimum wage. Police in New York City say two men robbed a Staten Island Pizzeria owner at gunpoint, forcing him to hand over the bag in his hands – which he assumed was full of dough.

The greenback paper kind.

Instead, the bag handed over was full of dough – the pale, mushy, flour type. The dough of crusts, thick and thin.

Salvatore (what-was-I-thinkin’) LaRosa has been charged with robbery after surrendering to police, who say that he and his accomplice followed the owners of Brothers Pizzeria, put on their robbery-masks, pointed guns and demanded the bag they believed held the day’s proceeds.

The bag was full of pizza dough.

LaRosa was released yesterday when the judge set bail. It was a lotta dough: a million pepperonis.

I’m Red Dirt Ready.

If you’ve missed the commercials, there stands a group of people, presumably Oklahomans, arms crossed defiantly in front of their chests. Hard-hats, doctors, teachers, businessmen, housewives. The voiceover is a familiar voice that asks if we are “Red Dirt Ready.”

Threat High

Red Dirt Threat Level

One thing about the voice of Morgan Freeman. He makes subtle authority an art form. “Let’s make Oklahoma Red Dirt Ready,” he says.

Ok. I’ll bite.

Went to the website (sponsored by the Department of Homeland Security, the terrorist people) and found a scary-looking chart that reads backwards (Farsi?), where the safe and fuzzy green tones are on the right and the threatening reds and yellows are on the left. Currently, (according to the graphic) we are in elevated threat levels at both the local and national level, and “general aviation” is under “High” alert.

What do we do about it? How do we get “Red Dirt Ready?” I’ll save you the trip. From the website:

1. Be sure to schedule a tune-up for your vehicle to ensure everything is working correctly.
2. Invest in good winter tires, and always keep your gas tank at least half full.
3. Pack a windshield scraper and other snow removal tools.
4. Dress warmly in layers of loose-fitting, lightweight clothing.
5. Keep an emergency supply kit in your car at all times, and include items such as a flashlight (with extra batteries), cell phone (with charger), First Aid Kit, water and food, blankets and extra clothing, a small shovel, and booster cables.

How those steps keep us safe in the general aviation airliner is beyond me, but if I can lower our local threat level by stashing some booster cables, so be it.

As for the red dirt part – a little research provided the information that the red soil found primarily in western Oklahoma is due to the presence of iron oxide. On the other hand, red dirt – when applied to music – is “described as a mix of folk, rock, country, bluegrass, blues, Western swing, and honky tonk, with even a few Mexican influences.

So. There you have it. Are you Red Dirt Ready?

Presidential Papers

President Barack Obama has a new book, released Tuesday: Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to my Daughters.

Fox News has already whipped up a frenzy over the innocuous title, using a website headline to call attention to the inclusion of Lakota Sioux chief Sitting Bull, whose tribe fought in the battle at Little Big Horn. The Fox takeaway on the book? That Obama “Praises Indian Chief Who Killed U.S. General.”

The general was George Armstrong Custer, the subject of several books in his own right.

The Obama title, a forty-page hardcover, is described by the publisher as a “tribute to thirteen groundbreaking Americans and the ideals that have shaped our nation. From the artistry of Georgia O’Keeffe, to the courage of Jackie Robinson, to the patriotism of George Washington, President Obama sees the traits of these heroes within his own children, and within all of America’s children.”

Perhaps no literary heavyweight, but then again, perhaps not the seditious prose that Fox News claims.

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