Rare, Collectible, & Otherwise

Author: admin (Page 134 of 220)

Cold Turkey (and not the Thanksgiving kind…)

A fritter. Alliteratively put, a fresh fried fritter – but all the same, it was no Twinkie. The Hostess crisis hits home.

To be sure, there have been Ding Dong-less days in the past. I remember dear Mrs. Baum, my grandmother-in-law, who made a special trip to the market before breakfast to stock in some Mountain Dew. No cupcake though. I was reduced to eating her delicious bacon and eggs, with fresh-buttered toast.

As of this morning, Quik Trip (at least the one in my neighborhood) is officially devoid of Hostess products. In unofficial survey results, chocolate Donettes are the least favorite of the brand’s offerings and as late as yesterday were in healthy supply for desperate junk-foodies. Alas, they too are gone.

Spotted on Craigslist Wednesday: an offering for a single Hostess fruit pie, cherry-filled and presumably unopened, at $10. (I should point out here that I was not frantically scouring Craigslist for Hostess pastries, I just happened onto the listing, and – no, I didn’t buy it.)

In the fashion of a class-action lawsuit, those of us most affected by the Hostess shutdown should band together and pitch in to buy the recipes and a couple of bakeries. I know I can’t be the only one standing in front of the empty shelf that only recently was jammed with sugary cakes and pies – those guilty pleasures that were Ho-Ho’s, Ding Dongs, Twinkies, and Frosted Donettes. When we get our consortium together and get to the point of printing the packaging, it might be a good time to update the product line. Maybe some new names.

Ho-Hummers. Extreme Dings. Thinkies. (as brain food, you know.)

Nah.

Just offer me some Frosted Donettes and I’ll be good to go.

Ray J.

World War II had ended and Ray J. was back from the Pacific and helping out his dad behind the bar of the Palace News in Parsons, Kansas. It was a little-bit-of-this and a little-bit-of-that sort of place, with newspapers, magazines, cee-gars, sandwiches, and a frosty mug ‘o suds.

Ray J. was known as Bud, since his dad was Ray J. the elder. It would have made me Ray J. III, but I suppose that was just too confusing. I imagine he was little Buddy first, then shortened to Bud later. Some of the cousins called him Uncle Bud, and I was okay with that, although I only heard him called by that name when we visited Parsons for the holidays.

There were a couple of stories that I recall about the place. In a letter addressed to the VA hospital where Bud was recovering from injuries suffered in a car accident, his dad wrote how he had brought out the guitar when Ray J.’s young friends had come round. They sang all the old songs, he wrote. It had never been mentioned to me that my grandfather played guitar, so the letter was a revelation.

There were no musical instruments in our house growing up, save the radio/record player. Ray J. loved to sing, but didn’t do it so much when we kids were older. He was a fine tenor and told me once how he and his buddies used to sing the Irish songs. Shame on me for not learning to play them along with all those Beatles songs. It might have endeared me a little more to him, given that he was no fan of current hits, which he called “thumpa-thumpa” music. He was listening to a Musak channel on television once when I walked through the room. It was a symphonic version of the Beatles’ – Michelle.

Me: You like that song?

Ray J., nodding: Sure do.

Me: That’s a Beatles song, you know.

Ray J., without a second’s hesitation: Too bad they don’t play it like that.

He was known to bring pals back to the house years later, after a long St. Patrick’s Day evening at the Elk’s Lodge. Some singing went on then. It was never discussed much the next day, as I recall.

Ray Senior was a marketing genius, to hear his son tell it. A traveling salesman managed to unload a case of Kleenex Travelers, those little packages of tissues, which made for a prominent display up near the bar. Ten for a Dollar, he priced them. Or ten cents each. The case emptied pretty fast, selling ten at a time.

Then there were the hard boiled eggs. A big, big jar with pearly white eggs bobbing around in some sort of brine. They were to be dipped in salt, according to the custom. A plate full of salt and a free egg – where can you go wrong there? Took a lot of beer to wash down those eggs and salt. The beer wasn’t free.

This picture is one of several found among the shelves at the shop. A shot of the Palace interior is often assumed to be the book store in the old days, long and narrow with a pressed tin ceiling. You can click on it for a closer look at the old cash register and wooden cabinets. Wish I had them in the shop now…

I regret that I don’t have a picture of me wiping down the counter at Paddy’s, back in my bar-backing days. It could have been added to this one and the one with Ray Senior smoking his cee-gar behind the taps at the Palace. Three generations of bar-cleaning, beer-pulling, descendants of Mamie Gillen of County Tipperary.

Boxers, in brief.

Some of them are just typos, no doubt someone creating a Craigslist ad on their small-button smart-phone. Others… I’m not sure exactly what to think.

I like to look over the listings just in case there is someone offering something of tremendous value for very little money. It hasn’t happened yet, but I have found a couple of items that I wound up owning.

Not going for Chester Drawers though. I should have clicked on the link to read the description, but it was more fun to simply wonder if some fellow named Chester was selling off his underwear or – instead – it was a couple of drawers full of chesters. You can never keep enough chesters around the house.

There is a slim possibility that the seller meant to offer a “chest of drawers,” which Chester might have kept his underwear in.

Sunday evening’s listings featured another classic, but when I went back to review it this morning it had disappeared. Hopefully a quick sale ended the need for the ad. I’m fairly certain there are no Craigslist editors out there.

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