A fritter. Alliteratively put, a fresh fried fritter – but all the same, it was no Twinkie. The Hostess crisis hits home.
To be sure, there have been Ding Dong-less days in the past. I remember dear Mrs. Baum, my grandmother-in-law, who made a special trip to the market before breakfast to stock in some Mountain Dew. No cupcake though. I was reduced to eating her delicious bacon and eggs, with fresh-buttered toast.
As of this morning, Quik Trip (at least the one in my neighborhood) is officially devoid of Hostess products. In unofficial survey results, chocolate Donettes are the least favorite of the brand’s offerings and as late as yesterday were in healthy supply for desperate junk-foodies. Alas, they too are gone.
Spotted on Craigslist Wednesday: an offering for a single Hostess fruit pie, cherry-filled and presumably unopened, at $10. (I should point out here that I was not frantically scouring Craigslist for Hostess pastries, I just happened onto the listing, and – no, I didn’t buy it.)
In the fashion of a class-action lawsuit, those of us most affected by the Hostess shutdown should band together and pitch in to buy the recipes and a couple of bakeries. I know I can’t be the only one standing in front of the empty shelf that only recently was jammed with sugary cakes and pies – those guilty pleasures that were Ho-Ho’s, Ding Dongs, Twinkies, and Frosted Donettes. When we get our consortium together and get to the point of printing the packaging, it might be a good time to update the product line. Maybe some new names.
Ho-Hummers. Extreme Dings. Thinkies. (as brain food, you know.)
Nah.
Just offer me some Frosted Donettes and I’ll be good to go.